To some it may seem strange, my daughter who is now 13 years old has
been wearing my wedding dress each year on her birthday.
It all started when I had watched a segment on Oprah many years ago of a woman who would dress her daughter in one of her mother’s favourite dresses that she remembered her mother fondly wearing. This woman would photograph her daughter each year and watch her grow in her mother’s 1950's dress. I watched this episode with my newly born daughter in my arms and thought what a wonderful thing to do. Looking into the eyes of my new born, I wondered what sort of person she will become, I wondered how she will grow over the years. To have a loving and open bond with your child is special and being sentimental and a traditionalist within our family was really important to me, I wanted to do this with my daughter.
The love and bond my daughter and I have, has grown so deep over the years and having this special moment with each other every year as she puts on my wedding dress is a sacred moment, one I did not want to stop after my divorce.
My wedding dress I wore was a short layered antique white chiffon dress. I felt beautiful on my wedding day, I adored my day to the man who became the father of my children. Each year it’s wonderful to watch our daughter grow in a dress that confirmed our love for each other.
I received mixed comments from many family and friends as to why I would do this each year. I had explained about the Oprah show and how I wanted to watch my daughter grow in this dress of love and one day will make a book watching her grow each year.
A memory to cherish always
I remember when my daughter had turned one and the dress draped over her, even though the dress was ridiculously oversized she looked beautiful and it would be the first of many years. At the age of two she screamed and cried in the corner of the living room trying to pull the dress off as she wanted nothing to do with it. Age five she asked when was it time to wear the dress as it had become a habit each birthday.
Over the years she embraced it more and more as she dances around twirling in the dress feeling free and feeling love
Since my divorce I have not hesitated to continue the tradition. Friends have asked why I would still continue to have my daughter wear the dress, a dress that symbolised a marriage that is no longer. Yes they are right, but it symbolises the dress I wore when I married my children's father. That will never change. I accept the marriage is over, but the marriage and love was there and I have two beautiful children to show for it. Why take that away from my children.
It saddens me to see so many people after they break-up become so angry and hostile against their ex, especially if you have spent a good chunk of your life together. To be able to heal and move on from your break-up, remember to not forget all the good there was too. I have worked with women who hold onto so much anger and wanting revenge against their ex for whatever reason. I found this did not serve me and it will not serve you. To be able to move on and heal from within, be grateful for the marriage and the good times you had together. Yes it can be hard, but by sharing the history of the foundation and loving and positive history of your relationship with their father, you are embracing love for your children. Your children still have two parents, two parents who love them, no matter what has happened between the two of you.
When I see my daughter twirling in my wedding dress it makes me feel so happy and proud to see a young girl turning into a beautiful young lady as she embraces a little history of her mother and father. That will never die.
The dress is a symbol and memory of the past, something my children can remember of their parents together
Find your memories, the good ones, don’t take the history, the past away from your children. They deserve to feel and hear of the past in a positive way. It was there, don’t forget that. Yes you may have moved on or he has moved on, but don’t take that away from your children.
Watching my daughter dance and run around in my wedding dress is
a memory I will always remember as she will.