and this is what I learnt...
Helping women go through their break-up recovery, made me think about my own marriage break-up and I wanted to share how going to Italy made me realise your life doesn’t end after your break-up.
My dream for about 20 years was to go to Italy, Tuscany in fact, and as I was coming up to my 40th birthday, I went searching on the internet looking for a holiday to celebrate. A holiday for myself.
I came across EAT.PRAY.MOVE retreats. The excitement within me was full of so much joy! I’d found the destination, the retreat and with yoga. I was getting into yoga and meditation and this was the perfect retreat for me and it was in Tuscany.
I sat on it for a few days before committing, I couldn’t possibly book this in, right? I am a wife, a mother, no it wasn’t right…. Was it? Finally I made the decision to book it only to be disappointed it was booked out.
The retreat booked out within days…
Thankfully Erin, founder of EAT.PRAY.MOVE* decided to do another retreat a month later and I booked it! I believe, I wasn't meant to go on the first retreat, because the women I met on the retreat in July 2014 were amazing and I have made some lifelong friendships.
I had to wait 7 months! 7 whole months!
But what happened in those 7 months... was my marriage broke-down and I left my husband. I remember my father asking “Are you still going away?” My fast response was hell yes! More so than ever, this is what I needed.
Going through my break-up which lead to my divorce was a tough and emotional time, but it didn’t mean I was dead. I needed to keep my dreams alive and that first dream was Italy.
On the outside, the holiday was still the same, but on the inside it was completely different. Here I was, just turned 40 and single. I was numb, numb of not knowing what my future would hold. Numb, numb of not knowing how my children were going to cope. There were tears, there was anxiety, but there was some joy, joy I was going to a destination I had never been before on the other side of the world. I needed an escape.
Everything was happening leading up to this dream breakaway, I sold the family home, I started a new job, the realisation my marriage was over, the sadness for my children… There were so many emotions going on within me and trying to deal with all the changes at times were challenging and confusing.
So the day my house settled from the sale, was the day I flew out of the country
But when I landed in Italy and explored Rome for a couple of days prior to the retreat, the sadness kicked in. I saw couples in love, I saw families happy, and it was really hard to deal with. But then I realised I was not being true to myself. I had chosen this holiday for me, whether I was happily married or not. Yes my marriage was over, I knew when I went back to Australia it would never be the same. So I decided to embrace it.
Meeting Erin Lewis the founder of EAT.PRAY.MOVE retreats changed my outlook on life. Here was this beautiful soul full of so much energy and love. Erin was my angel, my angel of realisation that life doesn’t end. Spending a week with amazing women from all parts of the world showed me we are all here on the planet for different reasons. But what we all have in common... we all wanted to be happy, we wanted love in our life. We needed the best for ourselves.
Over the week, I began to journal and really enjoyed getting to know myself, and what I learnt was I had lost myself a little towards the end of my marriage. I realised now that my life isn’t going to finish the way I dreamed it would with my then husband, my best friend, we were no longer going to grow old together, that didn’t mean my dreams still can’t happen, they are just going to be different.
I see it often when women and men break-up and the depression kicks in realising the future isn’t going to be the way it was planned. We need to remember you have a choice and you can make anything you want possible. You need to release the expectation of what was or what was going to be and embrace what will be.
The transformation to come was empowering
I will forever be grateful for EAT.PRAY.MOVE and the lesson learnt of living my dreams no matter what life throws at you.
Remember during your break-up to give yourself time to heal, don’t be too hard on yourself, and take the time to get to know yourself. You are doing your best.
*check out more about Erin and EAT.PRAY.MOVE yoga retreats at INSPIRED
If you feel you are stuck after your break-up and need guidance and support, book in a call today and see how we can work together to have you move forward into the next phase of your life.