That first moment when the realisation your relationship is over, hurts… a lot… your heart aches, your appetite disappears and all you want to do is cry, or scream, maybe both, the thought of hiding under the covers sounds like the perfect option, the only option. But the reality is, you need to let go to move on. And you have done it before, and you know you will survive the break-up. So what if I can share some tips you need to do in the first instance so to having the letting go come easier and have you moving on sooner.
Remember why the relationship ended. I always say and a huge believer we need to focus on the positives from a relationship that has ended, but for now I don’t want you to stop that, but sometimes we tend to want our ex back because we are lonely or scared of the unknown as a single person, so we tend to forget what brought the relationship to the end. I don’t want you to dwell on it, but for a moment what was it? Was it him? Was it you? Take a deep breath in and out and be honest with yourself about the relationship. Did you like the way you were in the relationship? A lot of the times, we don’t and once you realise and release, the power of moving on sooner and living the fulfilled life you desire is liberating.
You may be feeling broken, scared even, as if you have been through combat, trying to survive and heck trying to make sense of the break-up. But you need to know in your heart, was the relationship serving a positive purpose for you. Were you truly happy? Were you being yourself in the relationship? Take some time to ask yourself; who am I? And what do I want moving forward? Remember you cannot allow yourself to settle for anything less than you deserve. And it’s not a selfish act wanting it all, to feel content and to be in a relationship that compliments you not complicate you.
It will become easier, and understanding no one defines you except you will have you moving in the right direction of letting go. Yes you need to want to let go and thank him and yourself for the relationship. Because when you let go of the relationship that was, you have a chance to move on freely without holding onto the, what ifs and the should of’s. Remember, relationships last as long as they are supposed to. It may feel raw when the relationship ends, but think of what you gain now.
Seek out the lessons from the relationship and about yourself.
Simple ways to help let go, ways that you can do, is to clear all social media. Yes this means taking a break from Facebook or at least defriending your ex. It may seem drastic if you agreed to stay friends, but the honest truth is, do you want to see what he is doing? I say take a break from Social media just in general, because it can be time wasting and it can also hinder your healing. Really is everything you see on Facebook or other social media avenues the true picture of your friends? Let social media go for now.
Removing photos and other memories of your ex is a great releasing exercise. Now I don’t mean throw it all in a heap and put a flame to it, I’m talking about either giving it back or packing it away or if it doesn’t serve a purpose, remove it from your home. Anything that will remind you of him, needs to go and now. Don’t be hard on yourself when removing items, but remember this is a process and it will take time, but when you begin to release you begin to let go.
Letting go is a way to own yourself back. Because no one lives their life exactly how they want to today by choosing to wish the past to appear. The past is that, the past, and you now need to live in the now for a brighter future. A future where you have control on how you want to live your life. A life filled with love and joy. And not letting go of the past relationship will have you confused moving forward.
It’s hard to let go, I’ve been there, but once you begin to love yourself more, you see a brighter future. It’s like if you decided you didn’t like an outfit anymore maybe it doesn’t fit the way you would like it, would you keep wearing it? I know an outfit is different to a relationship, but let’s be honest, if it’s not making you happy and you are not being yourself, then why stay. And we all know we would have not worn that outfit again.
So the question I have for you, is how much do you love yourself? Do you want to wake up each day hoping and craving for someone that isn’t right for you? Or do you want to love yourself more each day and live the life that will make you want to wake up and see the beauty in this life. It is then and only then, you will be brave enough to walk the walk alone and when you have the beauty of confidence, anything is possible for you and a relationship.
It’s not the end of you, it’s the end of a relationship. And when one door closes on a relationship, it makes room for another door to open.
If you are struggling after your break-up, I am here to support you. I support women across the globe giving them the support they need to move forward reminding them they can do this and I know you can too. I offer a free discovery call where we navigate a strategy and see you moving in the right direction. Contact me today for your free call and let’s recover, rebuild and renew together.
women empowering women – Joanne Michelle