“I’m so happy to marry again, because now when I walk into a room I no longer feel invisible” Andrea Kelly
I was watching an episode of Hollywood Ex’s (yes trashy reality TV which I love!) and Andrea Kelly was getting married for the second time. What she said on her wedding day about no longer feeling invisible, tugged at my heart. Here was this successful woman or so she seemed, yet she felt she was no-one without being in a relationship, more so married.
Does being married make you a whole person?
Since that episode, they are now divorced and it makes me wonder why so many people dive into a relationship for the wrong reasons. I don’t know her story and really what we watch on reality TV shows is only a small part of what goes on. But did she marry this man so she could feel whole? Do you need to be in a relationship so you won’t feel invisible? Does she really know who she is?
What upsets me about her comment is that Andrea felt invisible after her last marriage, she felt like nobody by herself. This woman, who seems confident, seems to have herself together, needed certainty in her life, she needed confidence within herself and the only way she really felt that was possible was with a man, a man she could marry.
Don't confuse loneliness for love
Did Andrea marry him for the right reasons? Who knows… Maybe she really loved him and it felt right. What I do know and can share with you, is when people come out of a relationship they can confuse loneliness for love. I see too often when people come out of a relationship and they meet someone and have these feelings, temporary feelings, it feels right at the time, and with these feeling more often than not they are getting themselves in relationships for the wrong reasons and quickly.
What you need to remember is when you are happy with who you are and you really have connected with yourself after your relationship break-up, you will realise you don’t need to be in a new relationship or remarry to feel whole, so you don’t feel invisible. When you know who you are from within, that’s when you know you are moving forward in the right direction.
You are you, nobody defines who you are
If you feel like Andrea and can’t see yourself moving forward without being in a relationship, please connect with me. I can guide you and teach you how to put yourself forward and feel whole within.
There is plenty of time to be in a loving relationship with another, right now you need to be in a relationship with yourself as you heal, jumping into a relationship for the wrong reasons will only slow down your healing.