 A BREAKUP IS A TIME TO LEARN. TO HEAL WOUNDS OLD AND NEW. TO BE WITH YOURSELF. In the early days of your break-up it can feel unbearable. It’s important to give yourself time to grieve the end of your relationship. Remember every woman grieves differently. You may find yourself crying often, becoming angry, and perhaps even feeling jealous and wanting to lash out. You may become sad, feel guilty, feel betrayed or deny that the relationship is really over. You maybe finding yourself feeling destructive, or even worst wanting to take him back! Or begging to come back.
Don’t beat yourself up for feeling a certain way. It’s normal to be feeling a roll coaster of emotions. It’s quite common to see women after a break-up unable to move forward and this maybe due to feeling alone. Feeling estranged not from the person who you love/loved but the life you had created together. It can be difficult to adjust, unsure of where you fit, where you fit in your circle of friends, with your family, and in your community as a single woman and possibly as a single parent. Dealing with the realisation your life path that was once planned and lived with your ex-spouse has now changed, can be hard to accept, hard to accept it will no longer go the way it was supposed to go and with that, you may find yourself going through many emotions. Your emotions may not only be of your current break-up, but ones from before. This may make you feel hopeless and the feeling of loneliness may set in. Having these feelings and the old wounds that resurface is ok and it’s normal. You need to know that you have to feel this pain to be able to move on. You need to feel these emotions to be able to accept your break-up and start healing. You must make a conscious effort to notice your feelings during your break-up. By making an effort to feel your emotions you will have a clearer path on accepting it. Ensure you have positive support around you and ensure you are making an effort to look after yourself in a healthy way, mentally and physically. Are you seeking food or substances to ease the pain? Are you lacking energy and not wanting to socialise to avoid the change? Remember to come from a place of kindness, a place where there is love only for yourself. Notice how you feel when you use food or substances to ease your pain. Notice your daily routine when you notice you have no energy and just want to curl up in a ball and avoid others. Notice yourself during the day with the actions you choose, are you coming from a place of kindness? a place of love? Does the food make you feel better or worse? Lacking energy and avoiding loved ones around you, is it really making you feel safe and happy? Come from a place of kindness and love Reaching out for support is important if you find yourself self-sabotaging. Giving yourself love and kindness will help you heal in a healthy way. When was the last time you really looked at yourself in the mirror, your whole body, where you could truly say you love yourself? We forget to acknowledge ourselves during a break-up. We do a lot of blaming, and feel less than worthy. You have a choice, choose love for yourself. Don’t let the break-up consume you, accept the break-up for what it is. The break-up has happened and if there is no chance of fixing it and reuniting, love yourself and allow yourself to move on graciously. Give yourself full undivided attention you deserve. How would you approach a situation if your best friend, sister or a child came to you? You would give them the love they need and deserve, you would cherish them and be kind and gentle with them. By accepting your break-up, you are giving yourself a chance to move forward to live a full and loving life. We are here for the full purpose to live, love and experience everything this world gives us. And sometimes that is heartache, but there is more joy, love and happiness in this lifetime than heartache. Recover, rebuild and renew x
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