As 2017 comes to an end and the holiday season begins, it's a time of love and excitement. However, you maybe reading this and dreading the thought, especially if you are navigating out of a break-up or going through a divorce. You may want to skip over this season and bypass it. I know how you feel, I have been there, and coming to terms with being single during the holidays can add unnecessary stress on oneself if you do feel this way.
So how can you embrace the holidays this year if you are dreading time alone?
First, change your language. The word alone can be a negative notion during these holidays. So this year change your language and note the holidays as time on your own! Embrace it.
If you find yourself facing the holidays on your own, know it will be okay. It comes down to your attitude and how you show up. Make the choice to embrace this time as ‘my own time’.
For me this will be my fourth holiday as a single woman. As a single parent. You would think 4 years I would be used to it, and I guess at a point I am ok with it. However, the thought of being away from my children for two weeks over Christmas and New Year, makes me a little restless. For one I keep thinking I don’t want to be home… Home is always too quiet with no children in the house. Over the holidays it can be more so. At the same time I have some time to give back, whether it is for me or to someone else. So this year the fourth year I am embracing it. And the possibilities are endless.
I mean let’s face it, the holidays without your children, or loved one can be hard to accept. If you are with yourself these holidays, why not choose yourself first, change your focus on you and focus on what you have not what is missing.
Let’s embrace these holidays as we move into 2018 and look at the endless possibilities by choosing to be positive. Focusing on the positives instead of the negatives will have you enjoying this time. Look at what you have. Be thankful for the good in your life. We all have struggles at times but look at all the positives. Perhaps write down what you have. If you find yourself leaning towards the negatives, take the time to flip the not have’s and choose to find love in the have’s.
It’s so important to take care of yourself and even more so as you come out of a relationship. I know firsthand how hard it is to accept a break-up and not being able to see your children every day, when you used to. So when you do have time to yourself during the holidays, look at it as time for yourself. This is a wonderful time to choose you first and take care of yourself. Let me ask you… when you look in the mirror are you happy with what you see? If you are not completely happy with what you see, have or where you are in life, now is the time to dig deeper. You can download my free eBook and use the worksheets included to get real and choose you first.
Perhaps during these holidays it’s time for you and only you to take yourself on a little holiday, it can feel foreign even selfish to take time just for you, especially if you are a single parent. Another question for you is when was the last time you did something just for you? By taking time out and embracing singlehood could be just the answer you need. It doesn’t have to be a luxury holiday, it could just be a road trip with a little AirBnB cottage for a few days. A book in hand and time to just be.
If you are struggling with the thought of being on your own these holidays, why not connect with family and friends. If you feel the need to be around people, spending time with family or close friends is a wonderful way to connect with others. Keeping active and choosing to do activities is a fun way to keep your mind off being single or missing your children if you are feeling alone during the holidays. Embrace the beauty of the company of others and ensure it is of a positive nature. You want to be surrounded by people who will lift you and embrace the holidays in a positive way.
Could a new project be just what you need to do? As you navigate and reconnect with yourself after a break-up choosing a new project is a great way to lean towards a positive you. Perhaps these holidays is a time for you to choose a project at home. It’s a great way to embrace my own time. New coat of paint, upgrade the garden, clear some clutter that has built up over the year.
From me to you, I want you to know it will be okay and these holidays are a time to reflect and give love back to you. For when you choose love first, anything is possible.
Choose this time as my own time