It really is the most hurtful feeling when your spouse cheats on you.
The emotions that come with it are excruciating.
When your Husband has an affair it feels like someone has kicked you in the stomach
It feels like your heart stops beating
It feels like you are drowning, gasping for air as you sink below
It feels like you are falling and there is no one to grab your hand to reach out to you
It feels like you’re driving on a mountain going around and around and you are so close to the edge you want to drive off
You find yourself not trusting… anyone… anymore…
You want to throw up
You no longer have an appetite
You question your self-worth
You question everything
You feel rejected
Your eyes are so sore from crying you want to rip them out
You want to hurt yourself to release the pain you are feeling
You know your life is changed forever
And you come to the realisation no one will break your heart like that again...
Before you give up on a future of love and peace remember:
1. His actions have nothing to do with you and your value – When someone who is committed in a relationship and cheats, it shows an act of selfish needs. There is no sense to it. They have insecurities within themselves and try to fill a void elsewhere.
2. Having an affair is a choice – He made the choice. No one made him do this. Whether it was just sex or more, the reasoning is never justifiable. A choice is a choice end of story.
3. You are worth more than his behaviour – His behaviour is an action that is not defined by your worth. This is more about his worth. He does not have respect for himself.
4. His affair tells you about him, not you – For whatever reason, this is all his doing, whether he is happy or unhappy in your relationship, if there is an issue he feels, communication is the key. It goes back to his worth and insecurities.
5. You are beautiful and amazing, his affair does not define you – He does not define you. You also have a choice on how you feel. Always being true to yourself is so important when you experience infidelity in your relationship. Look after yourself.
6. Forgive him - not for his actions but for him, by forgiving him you are allowing yourself to not be a prisoner in grief, but rather having power from within and with that you are able to move on.
7. Remember not all men cheat - Be open to the possibility of meeting someone one day who will love and cherish you and your relationship. Don’t punish yourself and others for his actions.
When you fall in love you don’t know how it’s going to work out. Don’t be afraid to trust again and fall in love. Allow yourself to feel lust. Allow yourself to feel love. You too have a choice, a choice to trust your gut and enjoy. Life is too amazing to be resentful.
Accept and move on with peace and love xo
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you”. Lewis B. Smedes