There was a time after my break-up I found myself having moments of feeling lost, in a slump… or even worst stuck. The unknown of where to from here, and what does the future hold for me scared the heck out of me. A break-up can do this… You start to question everything and while doing that you forget about living your life with purpose.
I’m a big believer we have an opportunity to grow after a break-up. We need to not let a break-up consume us. If you are finding it hard to move forward it maybe you are feeling stuck. You may be allowing the circumstance to control you, when in fact you can control the circumstance with your belief system. Your mindset.
Having the right mindset, you can do anything. You will be unstoppable.
How to do this? Start talking about it with a friend or a coach, start brainstorming, journal what you want to do in life, what could you be doing now? Start making a list and start ticking them off. Having great support can help you become unstuck. A good friend or a coach can be your cheerleader, your accountability partner. You don’t need to do this alone.
I see many women coming out of a relationship not knowing who they are. Going from relationship woman to single woman is overwhelming and can bring anxiety, stress, and worry. But knowing what direction you are going in can bring you joy, excitement and happiness.
The reality is, we do what we put our minds to. But if you say I couldn’t possibility do that, well of course you won’t. I watched a recent talk from Tony Robbins, there was a woman who wasn’t feeling it in life, and he asked her, “When did you define yourself as the person who can’t do the thing you want to do?”
When was it? Being single shouldn’t stop you from doing the things you want to do. Things in life that will make your life magnificent.
If you are a mother you know we tend to put ourselves last, in some cases we don’t do anything for ourselves. But right now after your break-up it’s even more important to put yourself first, if you don’t put yourself first how can you be the best version of yourself? And what about your children? Are you being the best example to your children?
Falling out of a relationship when children are involved is difficult but we need to be a good example to show them how to respectfully break-up with their father. They will grow up and have their own break-up experiences and if we aren’t respectfully falling out of love and respecting ourselves, then its likely they will mimic the same behaviour… If we change our behaviour we change the behaviour of our children. Showing them and yourself, you do have purpose and you can live the magnificent life you desire for yourself will not only change them and have them looking up at you, but it will release the anxiety, stress and worry in your life and you will start to grow, grow into that spectacular woman you dream of.
With the transition, you need to get real with yourself right now and ask yourself the following questions:
WHO AM I RIGHT NOW?
WHAT ARE MY STRENGTHS?
WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY RIGHT NOW?
WHAT IS ONE THING I ENJOY DOING?
WHAT WOULD MY PERFECT DAY LOOK LIKE?
By focusing on the positives you realise life isn’t that bad and it becomes easier to move forward. We become the person who we believe we are. So if women are believing they are no good, life is hopeless, it’s too hard, it’s going to be that way, and they will be exactly like that. By flipping the thought processes and start believing you are good enough and it will become easier and life is amazing. The change starts to happen.
It’s not going to happen instantly, healing from a breakup takes time. And it’s different for each woman. Each breakup experience is different. Each woman is different. But with a positive mind and a purpose, there is nothing stopping you.
You need to not compare yourself to others. By comparing yourself to another who has been through a break-up or is living as in your eyes happily ever after, is the worst thing you could do for yourself. By giving the compassion, the energy within yourself, how are you able to grow from within and start living the life you desire for yourself?
You need to like who you are! You need to love who you are!
A break-up is an opportunity to grow, to redesign your life, your dreams. You may have had magnificent dreams with your ex-spouse, but there is no reason why you still can't have them. Now you have a chance to redesign them, recreate them, you can still have those dreams, they will just be a little different.
What is going to make your life magnificent? Make it happen!