Going through a break-up can be difficult.
You feel confused.
Your world has been turned upside down.
You don’t know what the future holds and you sure as hell know the plans you made with your spouse will no longer be.
It is a time to reflect. To find out who you are again. To cherish the beauty in life, because what goes on with a break-up is draining. Especially if you are going through a divorce and when children are involved.
Friends come to support you and it’s wonderful
The thing is you find yourself in a situation where friends you may not have been in contact come back into your life. It’s truly amazing. Your dear friends who are with you always are there even more so.
What I have seen and even experienced is there are only a few that really care, the rest are just curious...
The curious ones, want to know everything that happened, what is happening, they want to dig in deep and find out all the nitty gritty. These friends are so engrossed in the drama of a break-up they are not supporting you, they are supporting their own ego. All it does is bring the negative back into your life when you are trying to move forward as best you can.
When you find yourself surrounded by the curious friends, you really need to tell yourself, “they do not serve me right now”.
There are two options in this situation:
1. You need to be upfront with them and indicate to them the curiosity is not appropriate and you rather not discuss it with them.
2. You need to let them go, by not having them in your life you are able to heal in a positive way.
Letting go of the additional drama from the curiosity of friends is the best thing to do.
Let in the friends who truly care and want to support you. Because the ones who are feeding on any information to hate your spouse and what is going on is only going to prolong your healing. The longer it takes to heal and yes we all take a different amount of time to heal, the longer it will take to move onto the next phase of your life.
What the curious friends don’t know is that it’s wasted energy to continue to talk about what happened in the relationship that caused the break-up. It has happened, and once you have accepted it, you no longer want to dwell on it. Your curious friends need to know it’s none of their business, the reason they maybe driving the dagger into your ex-spouse is because they have their own personal issues and it makes them feel better… right – no one wants to talk about their drama over and over again, the curious ones want to hear it somewhere else.
Remember to be true to yourself and don’t let the curious friend’s interfere with your healing.
Embrace your supportive friends with open arms.
You are doing your best.
Photo: courtesy of BREAKUPBUDDYAPP