Over the past year I have had many women and men ask me how to date successfully.
Dating... ha, where does one start. Everyone has a different view, opinion and approach. The key thing is to be yourself 100%, don’t try to be someone else to impress another. If nerves kick in, let the person know how you are feeling, being open and honest will ensure the experience is comfortable and enjoyable (well after those nerves disappear).
Being in a relationship you tend to become comfortable, not really thinking about aspects of your life as you would as a single person who is dating. Whether you have been in a relationship, for a year or 20, the thought of spending time with another person and getting back out there in the dating scene again can be daunting. I know from my own personal experience and from working with others to know it is a normal feeling to have. So don't dismiss it and avoid dating if you want to venture out there.
Today I want to share with you my successful tips when you are ready to embrace dating:
At the end of the day, just be yourself. There is only one of you and make sure you are enjoying the next chapter in your life as a single woman, because what is to come will and can be an amazing experience, not to mention a loving relationship when you meet the right person.
If you are still unsure about getting out there, my dating support may just be your answer. You can find more details here, or email me at email@example.com.
Break-ups suck! There I said it.
Let’s face it we have at some stage in our life been through one. And it was painful. Some take longer to move on from the relationship and some can be ok while moving forward in a positive way.
The reality is it will take time. And you are human. Meaning, you need to be ok with everything you feel about your break-up. The ups. The downs. And everything in between. Break-ups are not supposed to feel awesome, even if you chose to leave. So if you initiated the break-up you may have the ability to move forward with strength, and be ok when there are days, and moments, snippets of here and there that will bring up an emotion. Don’t ever push your feelings, your emotions that pop up away. By doing this, you really are just putting a band aid on it.
Ignoring how you are feeling, will prolong your recovery.
I come across so many people in different stages of their break-up. One key thing I see in most… is without understanding yourself during this time, it will be difficult to navigate away from the relationship and gain self confidence back. What won’t help you through your break-up is hostility towards your ex. Anger towards your ex. I want you to show grace and dignity during this transition. And why the hell not! You are amazing.
Do you remember who you were before you were in your previous relationship? A lot of time one forgets. We get so caught up in the relationship and the break-up, that we forget who we truly were. And are today. So who the hell are you? What is it you want in life? Big questions, and ones that need an answer, maybe not right this moment, however, you do need to get clear on who you are as you transition from your relationship and into the new you.
How do you want to feel when you wake up in the morning?
I want you to stand tall. I want you to own who you are. I want you to show class and dignity towards your ex and towards yourself. You have a choice right now on how you react, and how you behave. Use your energy in finding the positives. Use your energy in loving yourself a little more each day. Can you imagine if we all showed a little more love to each other and to ourselves, and thanked the relationship how much easier it is to move on.
It will take time and it can be difficult, but you have it in you. So let’s rejoice together and stand tall! Support is here for you.
Remember to download your free eBook on successfully navigating from your break-up.
Click here to download today.
A free Facebook group has been setup for you and I want you to join it with me. Together we can get through this one day at a time. If you are an Aussie woman wanting to feel empowered, join me today. Click here to join.
I hear often...
“But I’m a single mum, I can’t do that or commit to that”.
“I’m a single mum and don’t have the funds”.
“I’m a single mum and it’s hard”.
I know I have been there with the same beliefs. The words I use and the stigma of being a 'single mum' had me thinking recently, are we focusing more on the ‘victim’ mindset of being a single mum and the reality it is hard, or could we change the negative stigma of what a ‘single mum’ is and embrace the endless possibilities of being empowered. Sure we have tough days, and maybe we can’t have everything we had before. But having a negative mindset with being a single mum I don’t want anymore.
Because I am a woman, yes a single woman, yes a mum who co parents, however, I am still a woman with a mission to live my best life. And every time we say but… I am a single mum… but… I have to do this myself… we find ourselves living a struggled life. The story you tell yourself is the life you will live. You need to feed your mind with the belief you are more than a 'single mum' you need to focus on positive and empowering thoughts, thoughts, beliefs that share the story of who you want to be and how you want to feel.
So what about we change it? Change the story we tell ourselves and focus on who we are as a woman and embrace the tough days because the reality is, you are better off than being is a hostile or unloved relationship. What if you could be in a loving relationship with yourself and accept everything that comes your way.
Taking out the ‘single mum’ status and owning who I am has me in control of what I want in life. It has me empowered. It makes me want to show my children anything is possible even when your life you once thought was going one way, can in fact head in a different direction, a direction that will work well for you! You have a choice.
Who is with me?
What will you choose today? To accept the negative stigma that it will be challenging every day, or be empowered with a clear mindset of what you want moving forward?
Two effective tips you can do today to ensure you are being empowered by your status and not using it to not live your life are:
Have a mission, a mission of you!
I mentioned about having a loving relationship with yourself and there is no better way to get clear than writing a mission for yourself. Let’s grab pen and paper and start writing. Having a personal self-mission is a great way to remind yourself of who you want to be. What is true for you? What person do you want to be today and every day after?
Getting clear on your core values.
Getting clear on your core values, sets you up day in and day out. It enables you and ensures you are on the right track with you daily choices. If you are always telling yourself the story of struggle but one of your core values is striving to do my best everyday. Then how does that work for you? Get clear and live the way you want to. Choose 3-5 important core values for you, not for anyone else but for you to live by.
Embrace who you are and change your mindset, change the story you are telling yourself and live your life all of it the ups and the downs and be empowered everyday.
DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE BOOK HERE!
12 steps to navigate sucessfully from your break-up
As 2017 comes to an end and the holiday season begins, it's a time of love and excitement. However, you maybe reading this and dreading the thought, especially if you are navigating out of a break-up or going through a divorce. You may want to skip over this season and bypass it. I know how you feel, I have been there, and coming to terms with being single during the holidays can add unnecessary stress on oneself if you do feel this way.
So how can you embrace the holidays this year if you are dreading time alone?
First, change your language. The word alone can be a negative notion during these holidays. So this year change your language and note the holidays as time on your own! Embrace it.
If you find yourself facing the holidays on your own, know it will be okay. It comes down to your attitude and how you show up. Make the choice to embrace this time as ‘my own time’.
For me this will be my fourth holiday as a single woman. As a single parent. You would think 4 years I would be used to it, and I guess at a point I am ok with it. However, the thought of being away from my children for two weeks over Christmas and New Year, makes me a little restless. For one I keep thinking I don’t want to be home… Home is always too quiet with no children in the house. Over the holidays it can be more so. At the same time I have some time to give back, whether it is for me or to someone else. So this year the fourth year I am embracing it. And the possibilities are endless.
I mean let’s face it, the holidays without your children, or loved one can be hard to accept. If you are with yourself these holidays, why not choose yourself first, change your focus on you and focus on what you have not what is missing.
Let’s embrace these holidays as we move into 2018 and look at the endless possibilities by choosing to be positive. Focusing on the positives instead of the negatives will have you enjoying this time. Look at what you have. Be thankful for the good in your life. We all have struggles at times but look at all the positives. Perhaps write down what you have. If you find yourself leaning towards the negatives, take the time to flip the not have’s and choose to find love in the have’s.
It’s so important to take care of yourself and even more so as you come out of a relationship. I know firsthand how hard it is to accept a break-up and not being able to see your children every day, when you used to. So when you do have time to yourself during the holidays, look at it as time for yourself. This is a wonderful time to choose you first and take care of yourself. Let me ask you… when you look in the mirror are you happy with what you see? If you are not completely happy with what you see, have or where you are in life, now is the time to dig deeper. You can download my free eBook and use the worksheets included to get real and choose you first.
Perhaps during these holidays it’s time for you and only you to take yourself on a little holiday, it can feel foreign even selfish to take time just for you, especially if you are a single parent. Another question for you is when was the last time you did something just for you? By taking time out and embracing singlehood could be just the answer you need. It doesn’t have to be a luxury holiday, it could just be a road trip with a little AirBnB cottage for a few days. A book in hand and time to just be.
If you are struggling with the thought of being on your own these holidays, why not connect with family and friends. If you feel the need to be around people, spending time with family or close friends is a wonderful way to connect with others. Keeping active and choosing to do activities is a fun way to keep your mind off being single or missing your children if you are feeling alone during the holidays. Embrace the beauty of the company of others and ensure it is of a positive nature. You want to be surrounded by people who will lift you and embrace the holidays in a positive way.
Could a new project be just what you need to do? As you navigate and reconnect with yourself after a break-up choosing a new project is a great way to lean towards a positive you. Perhaps these holidays is a time for you to choose a project at home. It’s a great way to embrace my own time. New coat of paint, upgrade the garden, clear some clutter that has built up over the year.
From me to you, I want you to know it will be okay and these holidays are a time to reflect and give love back to you. For when you choose love first, anything is possible.
Choose this time as my own time