It's difficult to understand what is happening in your world when you hold onto anger and resentment of the past and with your ex. And I know we all do it, from time to time, feel anger and rage for whatever reason and coming out of a relationship we can feel not only anger but animosity towards the ex, the situation and even ourselves. When you do this, you are destroying your chances of living with joy.
Joy is a feeling of great pleasure and happiness.
You’re probably asking me “How does one feel great pleasure and happiness when one has just had their world turned upside down due to a break-up?”
Let me tell you there are a few things you need to do to live with joy during your break-up. You need to forgive, you need to choose gratitude and you need to accept the break-up. When you forgive, holding onto anger is difficult. When you choose gratitude, you feel lighter from within. And once you accept it’s real you become free to move away with ease.
What if you could see the gifts in the break-up and in your ex? How would you feel if you chose love and gratitude first? What could you be grateful for?
If you chose to forgive what you receive is freedom within yourself. By forgiving others and this includes yourself for the break-up, you allow yourself the power back into your life. You gain yourself back. Forgiveness will set you free.
And when you choose gratitude and choose forgiveness, you can then accept the reality of your break-up. Nobody likes a break-up, it damn well hurts, but it can happen… so let’s learn to navigate through it, with peace and joy.
Make the choice to find the gifts during this change. I am not saying it’s going to be easy or the gifts will be easy to come by at times, but for me it taught me to understand myself, for I had lost my identity, I didn't even realise this loss during the transition of my break-up.
For me… I was still growing as a woman, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a colleague, a friend. Let’s face it we are forever evolving and what I didn't know was I was stuck, I had let a relationship that was no longer serving me for me and with that I wasn't evolving. I lost who I truly was and it wasn't until I left and started to rediscover who I was that I found myself again. It was a scary step and it took time, and there were struggles, but once I decided to choose gratitude and joy over anger and resentment, the shift came. I not only forgave my ex but I also forgave myself for the relationship.
It's difficult to understand what is happening in your world when you hold onto anger and resentment of the past with your ex. Being able to understand what your ex is feeling and was feeling in the relationship, seeing it not only from your view, from your side, but looking at the relationship from their view and their side too will help you accept. At first I held such anger towards my ex, towards myself and it wasn't serving me, it was hindering my recovery.
Going through a divorce can bring up a lot of feelings and not just from your divorce. It can bring up other significant painful feelings throughout your life. Ones that maybe you never truly dealt with. For me there were ones that showed up on the worst possible moments when I was trying to work out all the roller coaster emotions I was experiencing. I had to back track and deal with all of the pain, I needed to see it for what they were and did out of the repressed pain and accept. Forgive. I needed to be ok with all of what I was feeling. By giving myself the time to feel all the emotions and understand what was happening gave me the power, the power that gave me back.
No matter how hard and painful your break-up is right now, remember choosing anger with resentment and hate, will not serve you. The energy you are using is energy wasted. Whatever you put out into the world with your thoughts and actions, you will receive back, so be mindful what you are focusing on during your recovery. Take a moment to tune into your thoughts and actions today. Have they been full of love and joy? Or of anger and negativity? What you put out into the world you receive right back to you. Show love and love will find itself back to you.
Are you struggling through your break-up?
Connect with me today and let's begin