This year for me was quite different. My children were given a wonderful opportunity to spend time with their father’s family for a holiday in Canada, skiing over the Christmas holidays. The thought of not seeing them for weeks had me dreading the emptiness feeling, the loss of not waking up and receiving a squeezy hug on Christmas morning.
Being a single parent, a mother, we tend to put all our energy into our children. I know I do. It wasn’t even the thought of being alone over the holidays, it was more about not spending time with them. My children are teenagers, and even though they don’t need me the way they did when they were younger, I wasn’t about to give up Christmas to see them. So with that I flew over to Canada to spend time with my children for Christmas. 2016 we had a white Christmas, one to never forget.
I chose to spend a week by myself, exploring Vancouver and meeting wonderful people during my week of solitude. A week where I learnt many things about myself, what it was to feel love, love for myself and respect and love for others. After my week, I spent Christmas with my children in Whistler. The holidays this year, will be unforgettable on so many levels.
But what if you don’t have the chance to see your children over Christmas and over the new year, or other loved ones, what if you only see them for part of the time, or perhaps weeks later? I wonder how their father must of felt, and I am forever grateful I had the opportunity to spend my time with our children. I didn’t mind where I was, as long I had my children in my presence over the holidays. Canada was a bonus.
During the holidays many of us will remember those who are no longer with us, a marriage that has ended, and not only are you possibly missing your spouse from a separation or a divorce but the family dynamics, the extended family, and maybe family members who have passed too can have an impact on you over the holidays. Holidays should be a happy time, a togetherness time, but after a break-up or a death, it can have you feeling lonely, sad and angry, feelings that only deepen more over this period.
How is your situation over the holidays? How are you feeling? And what are you doing if you feel low because you are unable to see your children or loved ones?
If you don’t have your children over the holidays remember to cherish the time when you do have them. The key is to not focus on not having them in your life over the holiday’s but more embracing the time you do. We can all become so caught up in the hype of Christmas and New Year that we forget to live true to our values. And what I mean by that is, to not be so caught up with the ‘glam’ of what the holidays should be like, such as the material things. But the pure love of family itself.
If you find yourself not with your loved ones over the holidays, take the time for yourself. It could be anything from going for a walk around the neighbourhood. A sneaky little get away just for you. Retail therapy with Christmas/New Year sales, or just a bath and your favourite music playing.
This time is also a great opportunity as we lead into 2017 to reinvent oneself
After a break-up you need to remember there is a new beginning. And with 2017 here it is a great opportunity to recapture what was and embrace what is now. You now have a chance to look at your life and focus on your health, mindset, spirituality and to be grateful. The only way you can move into 2017 and reinvent yourself is to focus on these aspects along with being positive and grateful. Because you cannot be grateful for everything in your life if you are being negative and complaining about what is missing and complaining about what you don’t have. Be grateful of what you do have and if you don’t have your children or loved ones with you during this period, focus on what you do have and give yourself love.
2017 is a time to choose yourself first and with that watch the transformation to come
Love to you and Happy New Year.