photo courtesy of today.com
With the recent divorce news of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt making headlines around the world, I ask you, is it anyone’s business? Well of course! With their celebrity status, we all want to know right? But coming out of a divorce myself I really don’t want to read or hear about it, I don’t care why it happened, who did what in the marriage? What’s happening between them now? And where are they going? But I guess human nature makes us a little curious…
Are you going through a divorce and feel like a celebrity?
And why does it have to be everyone’s business?
The early days of a divorce are always the hardest but as time passes, your days will feel less painful and less frequent, and more and more good days begin to show up. Your insecurities of your divorce start to ease and the feeling of being a celebrity in your circle starts to diminish. Once you begin to have more confident within yourself and your divorce is coming to an end or has finished, you begin to realise you are coping better and actually thriving, which is so empowering and liberating. In other words the celebrity feeling won’t last, and you begin to get through the feelings of everyone knows and I can’t bear it anymore.
I have written a previous blog about curious friends and how they do not help you get through a divorce, but through the media I can imagine it would be a hell of a lot harder.
Going through your own divorce can have you carrying a mixed bag of emotions and the talk and gossip of others can make it so much harder to deal with, even though you may not be the centre of attention with media, it can still have the same affect.
So whether you are a celebrity with the media knocking on your door or a suburban housewife with friends knocking on your door, it is no one’s business unless you want to share it. But what if you are feeling hurt and worried that others are taking an interest in your divorce right now?
How do you keep your sanity through your divorce and shut out the ones you don’t want to know your business? Check in with yourself and ask these questions:
These questions are really important, and by checking in, and getting real with yourself when you feel the whole world is watching you and wanting to know what is going on will help you cope a lot easier. Take your time with these questions and revisit them from time to time. Knowing who is in your life during your divorce to see if they are truly supporting you or draining you will give you a good indication if in fact it is none of their business.
Something to be mindful of and I hear it too often is note who you communicate with about your divorce. One trap some find themselves in, is talking to others who have gone through a divorce, which is natural, but the thing is, they may start talking about what they went through including their settlement details, and before you know it, you are sharing your own details whether you want to or not. It can become messy as everyone’s situations are different, which means every settlement is different, and when it’s different, people want to know more.
Are you a celebrity in your own circle of friends?
There maybe times where you know others are talking about your divorce, about you, about your ex-spouse, but do yourself a favour, even if it does hurt, you need to accept that they are making it their business and let it go. Yes you may care, but you shouldn’t.
By taking control of your divorce and checking in regularly with yourself you will be ok.