The day you find out your ex-spouse has a new partner can be the strangest feeling… Your emotions could be quite negative with feelings of anger, jealously, sadness and concerned about your children. It’s pretty normal to feel these emotions even if you were the one to end the relationship.
Knowing he is with another maybe hard to accept at first
Remember this though, he has the right to find love again. Yes it didn’t work out with you, but this may be the right relationship for him now. Accepting the realisation he has moved on will be hard even if you don’t love him, yet it’s normal to question if your feeling’s mean you still love him. The reality is you probably don’t still love him in that way, the feeling of what was once and the feeling of lost will confuse you. It’s good to remember the good times you had with him, yes, but now let him move onto another relationship. There is no need for anger and there is no need for sadness and there is no need for jealously.
If children are involved remember your negative feelings will affect your children. If you are finding it difficult to deal with, ensure that you don’t ask your children too many questions or share your concerns about his new partner with them. It’s a good time to not find out too many details of their life, but when children are involved you need to discuss how this will affect them. Do you have a parenting plan that includes what to do when a new partner is introduced? If not, it’s a good idea to discuss with your ex-spouse; will you meet the new partner before your children? What is the new partner’s involvement with your children? Will living arrangements affect your children?
I always tell my clients to focus on the positive’s, it’s so much easier to move forward in life. But when your ex-spouse has indeed moved on, remember why the relationship ended. I don’t mean dwell on the negative as such, but reminding yourself why can help with accepting his choice to move on.
This is a great time to reflect on your life and what you want
Have you made a vision of your future in detail?
What do you really want in life?
Being true to you is so powerful right now
Be kind to yourself during this time. There is no time to be focusing on ‘poor me’, and ‘I will be alone forever’. Try focusing on what you want in life right now. Do you want to be happy? Be happy. If you want to explore new activities. Explore new activities. If you do want a new partner. Be that partner. There is nothing more attractive than being confident in yourself and being the exact person you hope to meet one day. By focusing on the negative and poor me, you will find yourself living an unfilled life and not in the mindset of a future you really want.
So what is it you want in life right now?
If you are having trouble with your emotions, why not connect with me with my complimentary call. One call could make all the difference.