Have you ever been asked by someone since your break-up, “Don’t you find it lonely?” And if you have, what was your answer? How did your body respond? Did you tense up or were you relaxed. Relaxed because you were confident, and know you are not lonely.
There is a difference between being lonely and alone.
Let me break it down for you.
Being alone after a break-up gives you the chance to rediscover who you are. We tend to get lost in a relationship, and that is not necessarily a bad thing, but it happens and realising that after a break-up can be overwhelming. But what you need to understand is you have a chance to hang out with yourself and find out who you are again. JUST YOU. No one else but you. That is liberating! You can be happy being alone and once you have the happiness within, you will realise you don’t need a partner to make you happy. A partner in your life should be to compliment you, not just make you happy. Exciting isn’t it? So it is actually a good thing, a positive thing for you to be alone. Embrace it.
Allow the alone time to be present after your break-up.
Being lonely on the other hand can actually be damaging for you. Yes after your break-up you need time for yourself, ALONE time, but pushing away love for yourself during this time, may not be a wise decision. Being lonely can affect you in many ways, such as health and emotional detachment from others. Identifying if you are alone or lonely is important. Making an effort to keep yourself busy, respecting yourself and being self-aware will not put you in a lonely state of mind. Yes you can be alone as I mentioned above, but don’t cocoon yourself and shelter yourself from the world, from yourself. After your break-up it’s so important to reconnect with yourself.
Journaling can help you through a time of feeling lonely, writing down how you feel and how you want to feel can improve your awareness of yourself, allowing you to enjoy being alone but not lonely. Spending time alone by starting a new hobby by yourself, is not lonely but a wonderful experience as you reconnect with yourself.
HOW DO YOU WANT TO FEEL MOVING FORWARD?
Asking yourself real questions will help you move forward. I hear from women too often, about feeling lonely and missing their ex, or the companion of another. But the question they need to ask themselves, is “What is it I like about myself?” Finding the great aspects of yourself will help you when you feel lonely. You are an amazing woman, and no matter what happened that ended your relationship, you need to remember you are a precious woman, a beautiful soul. One that deserves love and compassion from within.
After your break-up it’s so important to reconnect with yourself.
By getting real with yourself and spending some alone time understanding how you want to feel moving forward is a tool you can use often. By understanding how you want to feel will give you a better chance moving forward by yourself. Once you are confident with your feelings and confident of the woman you see yourself in the future, you won’t feel lonely, yet alone time will be cherished more often.
If you find yourself feeling lonely and not able to embrace being alone, contact me and we can work through this time together.