It seems like an unrealistic thing, being grateful after your break-up. It’s not. The realisation you are no longer in a committed relationship can be hard. Break-ups are tough, they hurt and can hurt a lot.
Being able to move on from your break-up and be grateful, you need to feel the pain and allow it to come out. You need to trust what you are feeling. Hiding your emotions, and by ignoring them will not allow you to move forward. You need to move forward to live the life you want for yourself. By being grateful for all the amazing things in your life, you will move on from your break-up freely with true love for yourself and life.
Yes, the pain will be there, but at a time of loss, pain and everything else you maybe feeling, you tend to forget about the good that is in your life, the positives, and all the wonderful things around you.
Without looking at the positives in your life, are you really living the ideal life?
Being grateful is truly a healing tool. When you acknowledge the good in your life, you will feel happiness. When you feel happiness your anxiety and stress ease.
PRACTICE GRATITUDE TODAY
Here is a simple exercise...
At the end of the day, write down 3-5 things you are grateful for (for the day). It really could be anything, such as your children, the flowers in the garden, whatever you feel that makes you happy and you can be grateful for. Once you have done this for a week, go back and reflect your gratitude.
Continue doing your grateful list every day.
I recently looked back on a journal where I was writing 5 things I was grateful for at the beginning of my break-up. It reminded me how healing these lists were for me. These lists made me realise I had so much to be grateful for in a time that didn't seem so positive. This positive energy from these lists, really helped me through my healing. It can help you too.
Give it ago and see how you feel at the end of the week. Continue this, especially when you don't feel so good. It will help you, it will lift your spirit and remind you to keep going.
Life doesn't end after your break-up, life is just beginning. Remember you choose how you feel, always x
I saw the words “Happiness is seeing your Mom happy” on a Facebook post a while ago and it really made me think of how I was feeling at the time.
Going through a break-up and trying to be happy all the time for my children was tough…
Showing your children you’re happy is wonderful, what happens if you don’t feel happy? What if you are having that bad day and you don’t feel it?
Happiness… is seeing your Mom happy. Right?
Being a single parent is tough at times. You lose the support you once had in the home, you know… the good cop and bad cop combo. You may find yourself being Mum and Dad at times. Trying to discipline and then trying to be the fun one. You want to scream and cry but try to show your children you are always happy.
Smiling when you want to cry.
Crying when you know you should be smiling.
DON’T FAKE IT!
Sure when our children see us happy it’s a sense of security for them. The reality is when you go through your break-up there are times when you aren’t happy and its ok.
During the first few months of my break-up, I cried, a lot, I hid it from my children and it was hard. I wasn’t acknowledging my emotions wholly. I was pushing the feelings away and ignoring them. By doing this I wasn’t being true to me and by not being true to me I wasn’t being true to my children. It’s really important to feel the pain, the anger, the sadness all of it. Allowing yourself time to acknowledge your feelings is part of the healing process.
It’s ok to show your children how you are feeling. Don’t hide it. Be true to yourself. It’s ok if they see you breakdown, it’s real, and you are showing them it’s not always happy times. Yes we want to protect our children from sadness, from hurt, but is it the right way? Will they learn from this if we are always protecting them and saying everything is ok, when it may not be?
Communicating with your children about how you are feeling and about how they are feeling is a great way to support each other. By being open and communicating about how you feel, not by negative talk about their father, but more on if you feel sad or unsure… gives you great strength in healing.
Don’t feel guilty or ashamed when you don’t feel happy. This will pass over time. By avoiding your feelings through your break-up you won’t find the place of happiness.
We try to avoid pain to protect ourselves, but what we resist will persist, don’t resist it, feel it. Being true to yourself and being real is a lot healthier, than hiding it and pretending to be happy.
Remember a good cry is break-up medicine. Let it out and release it.
HAPPINESS is seeing your Mom being true to herself and communicating with you and sharing her true love with you.